You Had Me At I Hate You
by AudiannaMaslow
Summary: Kendall Schmidt, Horrible brother. Logan Henderson, The soft hitter. Carlos Pena Jr, Name-Caller. Dustin Belt, Bully. James Maslow, The worst of them all. Big Time Rush. My Personal Bullies
1. 1 - I Miss The Old You

Celia's P.O.V.

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little tall- _I slammed my hand down on my alarm clock. Wow, that song had taught me I need to change my life around, Note the sarcasm. I slowly got up, and walked into my bathroom, not wanting to go to school. I slowly pulled my clothes on. I came out of the bathroom and walked downstairs, to find all the boys awake. I sighed and tried to make it to the door without them noticing... I slowly opened the door and shut it without making a sound. Wow, that was really close! I started to walk down the road when I heard a car honking at me. I turned around to see my brother, and them in the car, laughing at me. I just sighed, and kept walking to school, I finally got there. I saw Jordan standing by her car wearing a white lacy top, light blue ruffly skirt, orange cardigan with short black boots. I wish I was like her, I mean she was pretty, funny, and she didn't care what people thought about her. "CELIA!" I heard Jordan scream, interrupting my thoughts. I smiled and walked over to her, she stared at me and then crossed her arms over he chest, looking serious.

"Why did you walk here? When you have the bestest friend to come pick you up?" she said all serious. I smiled and shook my head, she smiled too and hooked my arm with hers. We started to walk in, and I already started to hear the names- whore, slut, bitch, ugly, fat... the list goes on. I tried to ignore them but I just couldn't. We got to our lockers and were just minding our own business, my locker slammed in my face. I turned around to see, Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan smirking at me. I felt Jordan come up next to me, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And what the hell do you want?" Jordan asked, glaring at them. I just stood there, not knowing what to do... if I speak- I get beat, if I don't I'm weak...

"We just wanted to tell her that she wasn't allowed to come home tonight, because we're having a party" Kendall said, glaring at us. I felt tears prick my eyes, but I didn't let them fall, I looked at the floor and nodded my head. I saw them smirk and then walk off. Jordan looked at me, with sad eyes.

"Why do you let them push you around like that?" Jordan whispered, I looked up at her, silent tears running down my face.

"Because, I'm hoping my big brother will come out... I'm hoping my old, sweet, caring, over-protective brother will come back and tell me he was sorry and it wasn't true. Because he should know better than to treat me like that, he should be protecting me, instead of bullying me. Because if I don't I'm scared he'll hate me more, and I WILL lose him forever" I whispered, staring at Jordan. She got a small smile on her face and gave me a hug.

"I have a plan, to get him back" I looked up at Jordan, "Come to my house with me after school, the plan start tonight" Jordan whispered, getting a huge grin on her face, I smiled and walked down the hallway with her to our class.

The school day went on to what seemed like forever with name calling, everywhere, luckily no hitting today. The final bell rand and I ran out of my classroom and over to my locker, Jordan was standing there waiting for me. I smiled at her, and walked out to her car, we got in and drove to her house listening to music the whole way there. We got there and went into her room.

"Okay, so I need to know this plan of yours" I said with a smile, she grinned and walked into her closet and walked back out with a dress, I couldn't see.

"This my friend, is going to get your brother back"


	2. 2 - The Plan

Celia's P.O.V:

I can't believe I agreed to this. Jordan's plan was to make my brother, want to protect me! This means I have to flirt, and I have to let Jordan pick my outfit out... oh this is going to be interesting... we were getting ready for the party my brother banned me from. I was wearing a really, really short red dress that came up way over my knees. I felt like a slut, but if this was what was going to get my brother back, I'm gonna have to do it. I was sitting downstairs waiting for Jordan to get ready, because she had to do all my make-up, pick out my shoes, dress, and do my hair. Jordan came out in a hot pink, one shoulder dress.

"You look beautiful" I said happily, while standing up. She grinned and walked over to me.

"And might I say you don't look too bad yourself!" she exclaimed happily. I grinned and walked out to her car, we were almost at the party, and I was terrified. I guess Jordan noticed, because she pulled over on the side of the road, and turned to look at me.

"Okay, listen to me Celia, I want you to walk into that party like you own the place! Don't worry about trying to find someone to dance with because trust me, someone WILL ask you" Jordan said, smiling at me. I grinned and gave her a hug, she was the best friend anyone could ask for. When we pulled up to the driveway, there was a million cars, everywhere and the house was lit up, music blaring. I looked up at the house, and my confidence grew... I can do this. I walked into the front door with Jordan by my side. I heard wolf whistles everywhere, and everybody's eyes were on me. I smiled and walked over to my brother and his friends, I was almost there when someone grabbed my arm and spun me around. It was a guy, and must I say he was VERY cute.

"Hello beautiful, must I say you look wonderful tonight" he said smoothly, totally checking me out- Ew! I shook it off and smiled at him, turning my flirt on. I bit my lip and put my hand on his chest.

"Thanks, hey do you wanna dance?" I asked sweetly, looking up at him. He grinned and took my hand, and led me over to the dance floor. We started grinding on each other, and I could see my brother's eyes on me. Soon I got pulled onto another boy and we started grinding also, this went on for a while, until someone pulled me off the dance floor and over to the side of the house. I looked up to find my brother, and his friends all glaring at me.

"What" I asked annoyed, but I wasn't... this is what my brother used to act like. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a death glare.

"What the hell are you wearing?" he growled, I saw James checking me out, and the boys were just staring at me. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I'm wearing a dress" I replied, I turned around to go back to the dance floor, but Kendall spun me back around.

"This is not a fucking dress! This is a piece of clothing, barely covering your body! I want you to go change, NOW!" Kendall growled, getting VERY angry.

"What? Why? She looks good in the dress Kendall. Don't you boys agree?" James said, smirking at me. All of them nodded there heads, grinning at me. I smiled back and winked at them. Kendall was now PISSED!

"That's it! Go to your room Celia!" he growled, I smirked at him. Not his best choice of words, I turned around and walked to the stairs, I walked up the steps and stopped, turning around.

"I'm going up to my room, if anyone wants to join me!" I yelled at everybody, I winked and started up the stairs again, okay so a bunch of guys started to follow me- EW EW EW EW!

"EVERYONE GET OUT NOW! PARTY IS OVER!" I heard Kendall scream, I smirked, and turned around to the boys that followed me. I pretended to pout.

"Sorry boys, I guess you'll have to wait until next time" I said, they grinned and nodded, walking down the stairs. I smirked, while walking down the stairs to find everyone gone, except for Kendall, and the boys, Dammit Jordan left.

"Well that was fun, good night boys, Kendall!" I yelled, while walking up the stairs. I heard Kendall grumble something, and I went to take a shower. I got out and dressed into short, shorts and a tank top. I went downstairs to find everything cleaned up, and the boys sitting on the couch talking.

"Hello" I said, walking over and sat down on the arm of the couch. Kendall stared at me in disbelief, and the boys were just looking at me- How much longer do I have to keep this up? Kendall glared at the boys and grabbed my arm, dragging me into the kitchen.

"What the hell" he pushed me to the floor, "Was tonight's little act?" Kendall hissed, he squatted down to my level, and slapped me in the face. I whimpered a little and said what's been on my mind since he's changed.

Kendall's P.O.V:

What the hell was she thinking? What an idiot!

"Do you know what I miss, Kendall?" I looked down on her confused "I miss the OLD you, I miss the times we spent together, pretending to fight, playing together. I miss how you would protect me from anything. I miss how you always knew how to make me smile. I want the old you back, sorry for taking you for granted" she whispered smiling. I blinked a few times, remembering all those things, did she really miss me that much? What have I become? Why did she apologize? I looked at her confused.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, clearly confused.

"I'm not the same person..."


	3. 3 - I'm (Almost) Done

Celia's P.O.V:

"I'm not the same person..." I whispered, trailing off. I looked at Kendall to see him totally confused. I stood up and walked out of the kitchen, and through the living room. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard this...

"You're right! You aren't!" I smiled and ran downstairs, I had my big brother back :), "You're a little slut, who thinks, if she wears disgusting clothing that doesn't look good on her, that she'll be popular! Well, listen you'll NEVER be popular!" he screamed, smirking at me. The tears pricked my eyes, I ran back up the stairs trying to get away from all the laughing, coming from downstairs. I pulled out my phone and texted Jordan.

_IT DIDN'T WORK! -Me_

**But I bet you saw your old brother again, like when he pulled you off the dance floor... -JordanMyBesty3**

_SO WHAT! I can't stand this anymore! I love you, I'm leaving this hell of a place! -Me_

I ran into the bathroom, and pulled out my blade... all I had to do is go a little deeper. I looked down at my blade, and cut a thin line on my arm. I just sat there looking at it, I don't feel better. I took it to my thigh and cut a bigger, and deeper cut that went from my knee, to halfway on my thigh. It started bleeding A LOT. I just sat there, staring at it, finally. I'll be done here, please I want to leave. I heard the door downstairs slam, and footsteps run up the stairs. The bathroom door flung open, and there stood Jordan, I looked down at my leg. She rushed over with medical supplies, and started to wrap my leg. I tried to make her stop, but I was really weak. Jordan wrapped it up, and I felt the bleeding slow down. She sat down next to me, closing her eyes. I saw a few tears roll down her cheeks.

"You have to promise me something" Jordan whispered, her voice shaky, she looked at me with sad eyes, and took my hands.

"You can't let those haters get to you. You have to forget what they say. Do you think I don't have a bad time dealing with it? 'Cause I do! You have to promise me that you will NEVER do this again" she said, her voice growing louder, and then she broke down into sobs. I started crying, hating seeing my friend like this. I hugged her and she hugged back.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" I heard Kendall scream from the doorway. I looked up at him and then looked back down, totally afraid of him, my own brother.

"YOU!" Jordan pointed to him, "Come with me! Celia, stay here! I promise I won't rip his head off, I'll let you!" she yelled, standing up and slamming the door behind her and Kendall. I wasn't worried, but the only thing on my mind was, why didn't Kendall find me?

Jordan's P.O.V:

I marched downstairs, to find James, Dustin, Logan and Carlos sitting on the couch. Kendall walked over and sat down with them, watching TV. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS BOY? He just saw his sister up there, surrounded by blood, and all he does is watch TV? I grabbed the remote, turned off the tv, and then threw it against the wall.

"HEY JACKASSES! I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU!" I screamed, standing in front of the TV. They all stared at me, their eyes wide, jaws hanging open.

"Good. Now that I got your attention, may I ask where have you been?" I said, as calmly as possible. They looked at me like I was crazy, and then they all smirked.

"We went out for a drive, not wanting to be in the same house as a piece of trash, that you call friend" James said, laughing with everyone else. The anger boiled inside of me, I want to kill them!

"SHUT UP! Don't you ever call her that again! Do you know what she did while you were gone? She tried to kill herself, because of you jackasses! She could of died, but I came and found her! I can't wa-"

"You told them?" I heard a small voice ask, I looked over to see Celia, at the top of the stairs. I instantly regretted my words, all the boys' mouths were hanging open. Celia limped away into her room, I sat down and put my head in my hands.

"She tried to kill herself?" Kendall asked quietly, looking at me with so much guilt in his eyes. I took a deep breath and gave each of them a hard stare.

"Listen to me, Celia is standing on a line between giving up, and seeing how much more she can take. Tonight she passed that line, and I saved her. She passed that line because of you guys" I said, my voice shaking. I broke into tears and ran out the door, bawling my eyes out, hating the boys and wanting to protect Celia, I can't believe I almost lost my best friend.


	4. 4- I Can't Trust You

(Disclaimer: I don't own the band Big Time Rush I only own Celia Schmidt obviously not her last name xD)

Celia's P.O.V:

Ok so they're downstairs, and I do NOT want to talk to them! My problem, I'm starving. I'll just write in my journal, maybe that will clear my mind.

_March 1,_

_My bday's tomorrow, I'm sure Jordan will just take me out clubbing... if my brother will let me. Guess what I did today. I almost got out of this hell hole called life, but Jordan 'saved' me. It broke my heart to see her crying but she could do so much better than me. She could have a better life without me, I'm just holding her back. So Kendall, I kind of saw the old him again... but then he slapped me on my hurt cheek too. You should see all my bruises on my face, but make-up is my savior... Ya, it would be great to have my big bro back, it's just, I don't know if I'll be able to ever trust him again... Hmm_

_-LoserGirlWhoDeservesToDie_

My stomach growled AGAIN! Ok that's it, I'm going to get some food! I walked downstairs, and into the kitchen trying to be invisible... it didn't work.

"Celia?" I heard Kendall say, from the doorway. I turned around and leaned up against the counter, looking at my feet.

"Yes?" I whispered, he slowly made his way over to me and lifted my chin up to look at him. His eyes were filled with sadness, I heard the rest of the boys come into the kitchen. Kendall let go of my chin and looked at the boys giving them a small nod.

"Can you come sit down at the table, please?" Kendall asked walking over to where the boys were sitting. I slowly walked over to the table and sat down, scared to look up. Two gingers brought my chin up, I expected it to be Kendall, but it was Logan. He gave me a warm smile, I looked at Kendall.

"We all just wanted to say... we're sorry, so sorry that you don't know how sorry. I've done so many bad things to you I can't even remember how many" Kendall whispered staring at me. I remember how many times, all you had to do is look at my wrists.

"Can you ever forgive us?" Kendall asked, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up into his eyes, they were filled with guilt. All the boys' faces were the same thing, guilt. I smiled, they apologized. Actually apologized! I nodded my head, a huge grin on my face, Kendall's face filled with happiness. All of a sudden I was being squished into a hug from all the boys. I got up and walked to the fridge, completely satisfied with our conversation. I pulled out the peanut butter and jelly to make a sandwich. I looked at the boys and saw they were all staring at me.

"Umm... why are you all staring at me?" I asked, walking over to the table sitting down. Kendall looked at Logan and he nodded. Kendall looked back at me, taking my hands.

"Cece... Can you promise us something?" Kendall said, searching my face. He wants me to promise him that I won't cut I can't make that promise, because I'll stop when he stops bullying me, and I don't know if I can trust him.

"Um, No" I said, standing up and walking out the front door. I need to get away from there, so I walked to the park and sat down on the swing.

Kendall's P.O.V:

She walked out of the kitchen and I heard the front door shut. I sighed and put my head in my hands. I can't believe I did this to her.

"Should we go after her dude?" Logan asked. I shook my head, knowing she wanted to be alone. Hmm, where would she keep all of her secrets?... HER JOURNAL! Yes! I ran up the stairs and into Celia's room. Her journal was sitting on her bed, in the open. I really should be doing this, but I need to know what she thinks...

_March 1,_

_My bday's tomorrow, I'm sure Jordan will just take me out clubbing... if my brother will let me. Guess what I did today. I almost got out of this hell hole called life, but Jordan 'saved' me. It broke my heart to see her crying but she could do so much better than me. She could have a better life without me, I'm just holding her back. So Kendall, I kind of saw the old him again... but then he slapped me on my hurt cheek too. You should see all my bruises on my face, but make-up is my savior... Ya, it would be great to have my big bro back, it's just, I don't know if I'll be able to ever trust him again... Hmm_

_-LoserGirlWhoDeservesToDie_

OH SHIT! I forgot her birthday, wow I'm a great brother... She Is Not Going Clubbing... she really hates the world that much? What have I done? She still has bruises, I need to see them when she gets home... she won't trust me? I'm such an idiot! I messed up our relationship so badly! We were so close and now she can't tell a simple secret! All these things went through my head as I read her journal. I put the journal back down and walked out of her room and downstairs. I sat on the couch with the boys, the door opened and Celia came in. She gave us a small smile and went up to her room.

"WHO THE HELL TOUCHED MY JOURNAL?" Celia screamed, oh shit


	5. 5-Never Have I Ever

(Disclaimer: I don't own the band Big Time Rush I only own Celia Schmidt obviously not her last name xD)

Celia's P.O.V:

He had tears in his eyes, I walked over to him and hugged him. He hugged back, we sat there for a while.

"Um... Not trying to break up the moment, or anything... but we're bored," Carlos whined. I broke the hug and started to walk upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Carlos screeched. He ran at me, and dragged me back down the stairs. He held my arm, while everyone was deciding on where to go.

"How bout we just play games?" I said, interrupting everybody. Everyone agreed, we played monopoly, sorry and truth or dare so fa.

"Let's play never have I ever, but you have to remove clothing" James said, winking at me. I rolled my eyes at him and Kendall glared.

"How bout you have to put a finger down if you have" Kendall growled, staring at James, he put his hands up in defeat. So we all held up three fingers, I got to go first.

"Never have I ever... performed in front of thousands of people" I said, they all groaned and put a finger down. Carlos was next, he smiled and winked at James.

"Never have I ever done it with someone" Carlos sang out, laughing as James put his finger down while no one else did. Dustin was next, he sat there for a while thinking.

"Never have I ever... left home without my guitar" Dustin said smiling, everybody put a finger down. Logan was next, James was out and everybody had one finger left except for me.

"Never have I ever put my hair in a ponytail" he said smiling at me. Everybody laughed as I put a finger down and pouted. Kendall was next, we all had one finger left. You could tell Kendall wanted to win along with the other boys.

"Never have I ever... been raped" he said, I put my finger down. His jaw dropped and I stood up, all of them were staring at me. I ran upstairs, why did Kendall ask that? Why couldn't he ask something else? I gripped the side of my bed, not wanting the memories to come back. My door opened, I looked up to see Kendall with a sad smile on his face.

"Hey sis," he whispered, coming and sitting next to me on my bed. He put an arm around my shoulder, and I started to cry. We just sat there, I was waiting for him to ask me questions but he never did. This is my big brother, this is the loving, great big brother, I was missing. I wiped my eyes and looked at him, smiling a little.

"I think I'm going to sleep... you know I got a big day tomorrow" I said trailing off, does he even remember? He just smiled at me, and walked out of my room. He obviously doesn't... I sighed and turned off the light. I only have one plan tomorrow, sleep all day, party all night... no matter what Kendall says.


	6. 6 - To The Club

Celia's P.O.V:

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my alarm clock... Wow, 1 o'clock. I got up and put on sweatpants and a tank top. I started to walk downstairs when I noticed how quiet it was... weird. I got into the kitchen to find a plate of pancakes and bacon. I went over to it and sat down, eyeing the food, what's the catch? I shrugged and started to eat the pancakes happily. I can't wait until tonight, I'm officially 18! I heard the front door slam and there stood a pretty girl.

Carlos' P.O.V:

I drove around town, what am I supposed to get my best friend's sister, who I used to bully? I decided to walk to the mall and look around. I slipped on my sunglasses, and hood and walked in. Hmm... maybe jewelry? Girls like jewelry, right? I walked in and saw a beautiful girl standing behind the counter. I walked over smiling.

"Hi, what's your name?" I asked, grinning at her. She looked up at me and smiled, wow she's beautiful

"Hey! My name's Katia Raquel Molnar," She replied happily, we talked for two hours and after her shift we walked around and I brought her lunch. This girl is the best! She's beautiful, funny and crazy like me!

"Hey Katia, I was wondering, do you wanna hang over at mine and my friends flat?" I asked, crossing my fingers under the table. She smiled her beautiful smile and nodded.

Celia's P.O.V:

I looked at the girl, confused. Then Carlos walked in after her, oh. She smiled and walked over to me, giving me a little hug.

"Hi! My name's Katia, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" she said, and screamed at the end. Carlos and her laughed as I just shook my head and smiled.

"Perfect match!" I said, drawing a heart around them. They both blushed, and I giggled at them, aww so cute! We laid around for a couple of hours, I got to know Katia better, and I knew we were going to be best friends. It was 8 o'clock and Kendall still hasn't said happy birthday to me, everybody else had. EVERYBODY! My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out...

_Meet me outside in 30 mins, we goin' to the club! ~JordanMyBesty_

I smiled and walked upstairs, changing into a lovely flowery dress. I walked downstairs and peeked my head around the corner, no Kendall. I walked through the living room where all the boys and Katia were.

"I'm going to the club with Jordan! You guys are welcome to come but find your own ride!" I called out and walked out the front door, to the car. I got in and saw that Jordan was wearing the exact same dress to me but only in blue. I smiled at her and she grinned back.

"TO THE CLUB!" We screamed.


	7. 7 - At The Club

Kendall's P.O.V:

I walked back downstairs, with my present for Celia. I haven't said Happy Birthday all day, because I wanted her to think I forgot about her birthday. When I got in the living room everybody was sitting on the couch staring at the door, but no Celia...

"Hey guys! Where's Celia?" I asked smiling looking around the living room. Logan looked at the boys and they nodded.

"She... uh... she went to the club with Jordan" Logan said slowly. My mouth opened, how could she do this? I mean she just left, didn't even ask permission. What the hell?

"We are going to get her, NOW!" I said, my voice yelling at the end. They all jumped and nodded their heads.

Celia's P.O.V:

I slowly walked in, Jordan ahead of me. I was nervous and excited at the same time. We went straight to the bar where a lady handed us a funny blue drink. I took a sip of it and it was kind of fruity, but I could smell the alcohol in it. So it's been an hour and I was... tipsy? I wasn't drunk, but I wasn't normal... I felt someone grab my arm and pull me onto the dance floor. I looked up at him, and I saw him, _Dylan Grey... _I froze staring at him.

"Remember me? 'Cause I sure do remember your sexy body" he said, smirking at me. His eyes trailed down my body, and he started pulling me toward the exit. I tried to get out of his grip, but it didn't work, I opened my mouth to scream, but his hand came over it. It was truly terrified.

"CELIA!"

Kendall's P.O.V:

We've gone to every club in town except this one. We walked in and started to walk around. I was with James, and he kept checking all these girls out. I slapped the back of his head and gave him the 'Really?' look. He held his hands up, and started to look around the club.

"CELIA!" James screamed, pushing his way through the crowd. Celia was with a boy, and he was holding her waist, and his hand was covering her mouth. She was trying to get away from him, but couldn't move. He's. Dead. Meat. I started to push my way through the crowd behind James, he got there before me, and when I got there, James was holding my sisters waist kissing her. What the hell just happened?

James' P.O.V:

I got over to Celia, and ripped her away from the guy. I pulled her over to me by the waist, and she put her arms around me, and buried her head into my chest. Why was I so mad when I saw the guy? I mean I used to do worse things to her, than him. I don't love her, right?

"Who's this Celia?" the guy asked, glaring at me. I felt her start shaking, why was she so scared of him?

"I'm her boyfriend" I blurted out, without thinking. Why did I say that? Why did I feel the need to protect her? He looked angry, but then he smirked. Celia was staring up at me with wide eyes.

"Oh really?" I nodded my head, hugging Celia closer, "Okay, prove it! Kiss her!" he said, my jaw dropped and he started laughing. Celia's eyes were about to pop out of her head, staring at the guy. I can't just kiss her! He smirked, again.

"Yeah, that's what I thought" he said, while grabbing Celia's arm and pulling her over to him. Tears started to go down her face. Anger boiled inside of me, at the sight of this. I grabbed hold of her by the waist and pulled her close, and crashed my lips to hers. At first she was frozen, but then started to kiss back. Fireworks, nuclear bombs, call it what you want... but all I know is that that was the best kiss I've ever had. I broke the kiss and smirked at the guy, who's mouth was open.

"Point proven" I said, then started to walk away from him. But I did hear this come out of his mouth.

"I will get you Celia, and when I do, you'll pay for that" she stiffened next to me. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Then my face came in contact with a fist, Kendall's first to be exact.

Celia's P.O.V:

Kendall punched James, and he looked like he wanted to beat him up. I got in between them and put my hands on Kendall's chest.

"LET ME EXPLAIN!" I yelled, over the loud music. He kept glaring at James, and then blinding flashes came around us. I felt someone pull me out of the club and into a car. There everybody was sitting, including Jordan.

"Who was that?" James whispered, staring at me. I took a deep breath, and said a sentence that probably no one was expecting.

"That was Dylan Grey, my ex-boyfriend or as the police call him, my rapist..."


End file.
